Erectile issues during your Virgin Experience

What if you 'can't get it up' during your Virgin Experience?

For sexually inexperienced clients we offer our Virgin Experience, which is tailormade to clients who have a bit more to learn about how to connect with others on a social and intimate level and gain sexual experience. Unexperienced female clients worry about possible pain when they experience penetration for the first time. But unexpereinced male clients often worry about not being able to achieve and maintain an erection.

Each Virgin Experience is unique and tailored to the client and escort but will usually include building social skills, intimate kissing, feeling comfortable naked, discovering the body through touch and massage and learning erotic techniques from foreplay to enjoyable intercourse. We emphasize that there will be no expectation or desire for the client to “perform” like in the average erotic movie. After all, making love is about mutual enjoyment, intimacy and eroticism. The ability to reach climax or prolonged maintenance of an erection are no must for a nice erotic time together. But we certainly do understand the concern and in all honesty, it's a valid concern. This can happen during your Virgin Experience. Like many things in life, having sex is a skill that is built over time and through experience. The Virgin Experience should be seen as a first step towards a long journey of discovery. Because we believe transparency and honesty benefits everybody, we asked a client to whom this happened to tell us more about his experience and how he looks back on it. 

About my Virgin Experience and how that did not go as planned

"Let's start with why I decided to book the Virgin Experience in the first place. When I was younger I had social anxiety disorder, which caused me to avoid many social situations due to severe anxiety. I eventually ended up with several advanced degrees while having almost no dating experience long past the age when others were getting married. I went in and out of therapy several times and eventually managed to get my social anxiety under control in most areas of my life, but made less progress when it came to sex or dating. My lack of experience eventually became something of a self-fulfilling prophecy; it made me feel more anxious, insecure, and less confident while that same anxiety and lack of confidence made it difficult to get experience. I chose the Virgin Experience to try to make progress in this area of my life and do things I hadn't been able to do before. At this point in my life I thought it would be better for my first time to be with a professional who had been trained in dealing with older virgins and would teach me. I opted for a higher quality option because a high-class escort would also allow me to experience and learn other aspects of dating (such as a dinner date) and because it would be less anxiety provoking. I chose the overnight option partly because I have never slept with a woman and wanted to try it, and also because my anxiety would be less likely to be a problem in a longer session. Usually my anxiety reaches its worst point right before the start of a social situation and during the early part of it and, if I do not avoid the situation, then gradually declines over time. Additionally, an overnight session meant time would not be an issue and if we encountered any problems during the night we would have the next morning to try again. My hope was that the Virgin experience would ultimately help me more quickly have a normal dating life by giving me skills and experiences I had missed out on earlier in life.

I have to admit that I had previously encountered issues with achieving and maintaining an erection. Usually when this happened I would stop masturbating and do something else and try again later or another day. This was more common if I had already masturbated that day; I generally attributed it to excessive masturbation or not waiting long enough between sessions. There have also been several different periods when I was on anti-depressants and this medication made it more difficult to get an erection and significantly more difficult to orgasm. Having difficulty getting an erection, or getting an erection and then losing it, has been more common in the last months. In hindsight this looks like it foreshadowed the difficulties I had in my booking, although I did not anticipate this at the time. I attributed it to age, and thought it would not be an issue so long as I did not masturbate on the same day as my booking. In those same months I started experiencing some symptoms that I now know can be symptoms of erectile dysfunction.

I didn't anticipate any erectile issues during my booking. I have read that people who lose their virginity late in life often experience various forms of sexual dysfunction, but I thought it was more likely that I would have difficulty climaxing (death grip syndrome) or maybe premature ejaculation. When I have had difficulty getting an erection by myself I have been able to resolve the issue by abstaining from it for a day or two, and I stopped masturbating almost a week before my booking. An overnight session would provide plenty of time to address any problems that came up and potentially try again later, I thought. Being unable to get an erection for the whole night and the next morning despite keeping my anxiety under control was not something I anticipated.

When it did happen, I was surprised and, initially, devastated. My feelings fluctuated between seeing it as a significant setback to feeling I was irretrievably broken, could not be fixed, and my trip had been ruined. Like I had travelled all the way to the Netherlands only to find out my penis doesn't work. I eventually settled on seeing it as disappointing but shying away from more catastrophic interpretations. I suppose I am not the first man to lose his mind over impotency.

My escort responded as well as she could. She tried all sorts of things to get me up, and tried again the next morning after we slept. There is nothing that the escort could have done different that would have helped. Even when looking back on the experience, I remain with that conclusion. A few days later I tried again twice through other providers and had similar problems. I also tried getting myself erect while alone in my hotel room several times and the majority of attempts failed. This is not a problem limited to one booking or one woman.

Having said that, overall my booking was definately more positive than negative. I achieved all my secondary goals but not my most important goal. The escort taught me a lot that will be helpful in the future. The trip as a whole acted as a kind of exposure therapy and reduced my general level of anxiety in social situations. Going on a normal date will be easier because I have (mostly) done it now and have a better idea of what to do. I may have replaced dating phobia with performance anxiety but I suppose that's a step in the right direction. If I knew then what I know now I would have made the same booking but seen a doctor about erectyle disfunction prior to my trip. In fact, that's what I am planning on doing. When I have found a way to overcome my erectile dysfunction, even if it means relying on blue pills, I am definately open to making an other booking. For others looking to make a booking I just want to say that you should not underestimate all the ways your penis can malfunction. If this happened to you previously, definately see a doctor prior to your booking and come prepared."