Consent Policy of our high class escort service
As a mediator of a high class escort service, our goal is to facilitate a booking between one (or more) escort(s) and one (or more) client(s) that results in a pleasant experience for all parties that they look back on positively and would like to repeat. This experience includes intimacy in different ways; social, emotional and sexual. Due to the intimate nature of the experience and the fact that there is a financial aspect, there is an increased risk of (sexual) transgressive behaviour. This Consent Policy has been drawn up to prevent one of the parties involved from experiencing the booking as transgressive at any time.
The legal considerations of our consent policy
Article 11 of the Constitution states that “everyone has the right to inviolability of his body, subject to restrictions to be imposed by or pursuant to the law”. It has already been established by law that the performance of sexual acts of any kind may never be forced. So not even when there is a financial reward.
Since the #metoo movement of 2017, not only are serious forms of sexually transgressive behavior punishable, but there are also consequences associated with lighter forms of sexual harassment. This is especially the case in employment law, because an employment contract by definition involves an inequality relationship and is therefore more likely to involve abuse of power.
Three parties are involved in a booking: The mediator (Society Service), the escort(s) and the client(s). Despite the fact that there is no inequality or dependence between the parties, there is a greater chance of (sexual) transgressive behaviour. This is because it is a form of sex work, in which intimacy is combined with financial compensation. All three parties run this risk and can therefore impose conditions on the other parties. It is important that the parties can, shall and want to comply with these. Only then can the booking take place.
Consent to our high class escort service
The fact that there is no question of (sexual) transgressive behavior does not automatically mean that there is consent. The concept of 'consent' cannot be explained unequivocally and this is complicated by the presence of a financial reward that goes from the client to the escort and mediator. What is the financial reward actually for?
Consent is neither granted nor obtained. Consent is achieved together. Consent is therefore not bought off with the payment made by the client. It does not entitle the client to enforce or demand an action or to display (sexual) transgressive behaviour. With the payment made by the client, a limited service agreement is entered into with a professional, but above all with a fellow human being. The client may therefore expect an effort (time, attention and effort) in exchange for the payment without a performance obligation.
Because our services are about people and not products, consent is not a static concept, but changes. Consent varies per person because everyone has their own views, values and desires. These can change over time. The context is also constantly changing, every booking is unique and every connection with a client is different. Achieving consent is therefore an endless process that parties must always be aware of and alert to. Reciprocity, the feeling that giving and taking are in balance, is of great importance here.
Achieving consent during an escort booking
The fact that you are reading this Consent Policy is a big step in the right direction as it creates awareness. There are a number of important tools that we would like to provide you with:
Start and continue the conversation with each other
Start the conversation with the other person and discuss each other's desires, but also the things that you or the other person may not want. Such conversations can be very fun, educational and exciting. The questions 'May I?' and 'Do you want?' are very important here. Take the time to think about this and continue to discuss this with each other during the booking. You regularly check whether everything still feels okay for the other person. You can do this, for example, by asking: Do you enjoy this?
Don't make assumptions
Don't just assume that if someone does not explicitly indicate that they find something unpleasant or offers no resistance, there is automatically consent. Consent can also be withdrawn or adjusted. Just because the other person found something enjoyable at some other time or indicates that they are generally open to it, this also applies now. Desires can differ per moment, situation and person. If the other person shows signs of discomfort, pain or excessive tension, stop the activity immediately.
Active versus passive
When you do something you are active and the giver. When let something happen you are passive and the taker. These are two different roles even though the activity may be the same. When you take on an active role, it is important to first reflect whether the other person also agrees with this. An example of this is having penetrative sex. During the missionary position, the person penetrating is the active person. However, in the 'cowgirl' position, the penetrated person takes on an active role. It is therefore the same activity but in different roles and not everyone feels equally comfortable in either of these different roles.
Use your common sense
Don't just lose yourself in the moment, but keep using your common sense. If clear limits have been discussed in advance, they apply to the entire booking. If desires change in the heat of the moment, act upon it only after a clear moment of reflection for both. Keep the other person's circumstances in mind, even during the most passionate moments. Especially when the other person has indicated to be very nervous, inexperienced or insecure.
Respect boundaries
If a boundary is communicated (I don't want this, I don't like this) then there is no room for negotiation. Be aware that expressing a boundary is difficult for some, so handle this with as much care as possible. Don't try to persuade someone and don't let yourself be persuaded to do something you are not fully in agreement with. When boundaries are explored, this can create an unsafe feeling, which is the opposite of consent, in which a sense of security is of great importance. If you decide together to explore and push boundaries, for example because you want to try something new, then only do this in good consultation, with clear safe words and never when you are intoxicated by alcohol and/or drugs.
Take your own responsibility
Despite all the tools we offer, every adult person remains responsible for communicating their own limits and desires to the other. No one can read minds, so communicate when something feels good, or not. Be clear on this. Yes is yes. No is no.
(Zero) tolerance policy
Not only in terms of legislation and regulations, the concept of 'consent' is still developing, this awareness is also still developing at our high class escort service. We therefore expect to regularly adjust and fine-tune our Consent Policy, and your input is very welcome. Just as this awareness is new to us, we assume that this also applies to the other parties, our escorts and clients. We therefore do not expect perfection and take into account that it will sometimes be necessary to talk to each other, in which we do not shy away from more difficult conversations.
It is possible that, despite the intention to achieve consent, this is not fully achieved during a booking or someone believes afterwards that consent has not been fully achieved. After all, consent is subjective and an emotional matter for which there is no objective standard. It is even possible that there is unconscious and unintentional (sexual) transgressive behavior. We see this as important learning moments for all parties, of which we are somewhat tolerant, provided that such actions are not repeated and those involved take responsibility and learn from the mistakes that have been made.
However, what we do not tolerate is when there is conscious (sexual) transgressive behavior. We operate a zero tolerance policy in this regard. If such a situation arises, we look at all the facts and circumstances as a reasonable person, and then judge whether someone has crossed a line. This is always the case when, based on the behavior or statements of the other person, it could be expected that a boundary was crossed or an attempt was made to do so. Also, acting in violation of laws and regulations, such as insults, threats, intimidation or any attempt to do so, is always transgressive. In such situations, the service will be immediately discontinued without any right to a refund and will be acted in accordance with the provisions of our Terms and Conditions.
Finally…
We would like to thank you for taking the time and effort to read our Consent Policy. As indicated earlier, awareness is an important step. We hope to achieve that all parties involved will experience (even) more pleasure from bookings with our high class escort service.
