Platform Linda about a threesome with a high class escort
On November 5th 2023, the Linda platform, from Linda Magazine, published a major article about threesomes. In it, various women talk about their experiences with threesomes in all kinds of forms. Marike, owner of this escort service, was also interviewed for the article. She talks about couples who book a high class escort with Society Service, their reasons, their experiences and what they encounter. You can read the original article on Linda's website, but also view it and read a translation below.
These women share their experience with the ménage à trois, or a threesome: 'clumsy and messy'
A well-known ménage à trois, or threesome, is a common sexual fantasy among men, research shows. But what about women? And why is the material on the female perspective limited?
LINDA. spoke to several women who entered the world of threesomes after the age of 35. They like to remain anonymous, because: “In our society, the monogamy norm is quite important.”
Is a threesome exciting or intimidating?
When it comes to scientific research and threesomes, material on the female perspective is limited. This is also evident from the response we received from Hanneke de Graaf of Rutgers, the sexuality expertise center in the Netherlands. De Graaf takes care of the 'Sexual Health Monitor' with her research team, but lets LINDA. know that 'unfortunately' no questions were asked about threesomes during the team's investigations.
What is known? Women have threesomes less often than men, according to Canadian research. And men are often the driving force behind a threesome. On dating apps for threesomes, a large proportion are men or couples, only a small percentage are single women.
American sexological researcher Breanne Fahs previously concluded that porn and television encourage the expectation of 'performative bisexuality' in a threesome among women. And British researcher Ryan Scoats has conducted several studies into threesomes in recent years. He concluded that men often find the idea of sex with two women arousing. However, women may view sex with two men as intimidating if the expectation is that the two men will not otherwise touch each other. His research shows that women find it more exciting when there is sexual interaction between all three people in the threesome.
Threesome options: MMF, FFM, MFM and more
A threesome can consist of two women and one man (FFM) or two men and one woman (MMF). Bisexual or homosexual preferences may play a role in this, but it may also be the case that men do not touch each other. This is called the MFM variant. The F is in the middle of the two M's. Scoats noted that these latter cases often involved friends who shared a bed with a woman. Of course, threesome variants are also possible with three bed partners of the same sex.
LINDA. went looking for women over 35 who wanted to share their threesome experience. And that turned out to be quite a job. Because apparently not everyone dares to speak openly and honestly about this.
The beautiful woman's body
Jessy (56) wants to share her story anonymously. As a single woman, she enters the world of threesomes. She underwent several, both FFM and MMF. “Ten years ago I had my first threesome experience. Together with two good friends of mine. But after a few times I thought it was enough. Personally, I don't really like the division of two men and one woman. I can't keep my attention properly. In addition, it is a tough task. They both want something from you.”
That is why Jessy describes her experiences with two women and one man as much more successful. “These were again two people I had known for a long time. They were beautiful experiences. Time and time again more refined, softer and tender. You know a woman's body better and know where to find the right spots. In addition, you treat a woman's body more gently. It is more caressing, cuddling and feeling.”
Jessy is honest, according to her a threesome fantasy can also be overrated. “We have high expectations and it is not always relaxed. I personally advise women who fantasize about a threesome to take a closer look at your own needs. Don't just get in anywhere. A great connection is also important.”
Tantric threesomes
Shanti, who prefers not to mention her age, was also single when she had a threesome. She and a friend stayed in Ibiza, where a man approached them in a club. “He was a nice man and it all actually went smoothly. In the end, the three of us went home.” Looking back on her threesome experience, she wouldn't do it again. “I personally didn't like it at all. It is important that you know your own boundaries and desires and dare to communicate about them.”
According to her, lust and 'gluttony' often play a major role in a threesome. “We are often looking for more and the idea that things can be done better somewhere else.” If Shanti ever reconsiders a threesome, she would prefer an experience with two men. “And I would choose a tantric and sensual experience, where it focuses on connection.”
Couples who book a high class escort for a threesome
Threesomes are also a fantasy of some couples. American research among couples shows that couples who participated in threesomes generally had a benevolent experience. Couples in committed relationships in particular described a threesome as a positive experience and were open to repeating it.
Marike van der Velden, from high-class escort agency Society Service, can tell you a thing or two about threesomes. At her escort agency, most threesomes are booked by couples between the ages of 35 and 55. “It is important that both partners support this adventure 100 percent. Couples often tell me that they have 'succeeded' in many areas, or in other words the little-to-none principle. They are happy in their relationship, but they want to keep it exciting.”
Van der Velden emphasizes that finding a suitable trio candidate is not always easy. “Many people are not in a situation where they can ask a good friend, for fear of damaging the friendship. And going to a pub together to pick up someone is not often successful either. There are also practical objections to consider. It must be done at a time when, for example, the children are under supervision, there is sufficient time to prepare and, above all, that this happens in a way that further deepens the relationship and does not threaten it.”
Jealousy during a threesome
Van der Velden also knows that a threesome is an often mentioned fantasy, but she does qualify the expectations. “With many things in the erotic field, 'in real life' does not resemble what you see in a porn film. The acrobatic positions you see in these are often not realistic. For example, people often forget that safe sex during a threesome requires attention. For example, two sex partners means changing condoms several times.”
And the owner of the escort agency also emphasizes that it is important that boundaries are clear. “It is not inconceivable that jealous feelings will suddenly arise or that nerves and insecurity will prevail. Therefore, make sure you only do this if you are able to communicate boundaries. Discuss these with others and also pay attention to the boundaries of the other parties involved.”
Sofia (58) can relate to those jealous feelings. Four years ago, she and her ex-partner ventured into a threesome. “I was in a longer relationship at the time and we fantasized about a threesome together. Acquaintances told us about a specific website and we decided to register. Little happened for a long time, until a man contacted us and we decided to respond.”
Extra dimension through a trio
Together with her then partner and the aforementioned man, they embarked on an adventure. “In a threesome experience with two men, you as a woman are 'served' twice. It is ultimate and transcendent. In addition, it is very exciting to share the same fantasy, wishes and needs with your own partner. That gives an extra dimension to making love.”
According to Sofia, it is a very nice experience that, as far as she is concerned, a person should try it at some point. “Most people are held back by the thought, or judgment, that it is 'wrong'. Or that bad things might happen.” She and her partner decided in advance to first meet with their candidate. “This is to get to know each other better and to give all parties the choice to say 'yes' or 'no'. Nothing is necessary and clear agreements are nice.”
Sofia honestly says that she kept in touch with the other man outside of their agreement. “I wouldn't recommend that to anyone. The situation then becomes complicated and it could cost you your relationship. It is very important that your relationship is completely good and that you are not dissatisfied with your own sex life or other aspects of the relationship.” But she emphasizes again that she and her partner had a lot of fun with this fantasy. “It provided anticipation, fun and after-fun.”
The monogamy norm
Roos (36) and her partner are also open to a threesome from time to time. “My husband and I are very open and honest about our relationship. He said at the time that he thought a trio would be a good idea.” Roos talks about apps where you can find all kinds of dates. “A kind of Tinder, but more exclusive and more focused on sex.” There the couple found their first match. And more dates like this followed. “My husband takes care of it all and I see it automatically.”
Roos and her partner always had threesomes where a second man was involved. Why does she think a threesome is one of the most mentioned sexual fantasies? “I think a lot of people find it exciting that you get twice the pleasure. In addition, things that are not obvious are often exciting and exciting.”
But Roos also emphasizes that you have to guard against uncertainties when having a threesome in a relationship. “Maybe the other person is nicer, more beautiful, tastier.” Despite this, she encourages everyone to have a threesome experience. “In our society, the monogamy norm is quite important. That is also a reason why there is shame and taboo surrounding this subject. It would be nice if everyone focused on themselves.” According to her, it is not important what anyone else thinks. “Experiment with what you like and don't like and stay close to yourself.
Out of the box
Maria (41) and her partner prefer a VVM trio. They tried it out for the first time three years ago. “I had been curious about sex with a woman for a long time. It just never happened. My ex-partner disapproved of that fantasy.” She now has a new relationship with a man who is more open to Maria's desires. “He is very open-minded. We talked about this and decided to try something out together.” Maria emphasizes that her fantasy is not necessarily about a threesome, but that the feminine aspect is important. “I want to be honest with my husband about this. Fortunately, he enjoys it just as much, but also hard work,” she laughs.
Maria also emphasizes that a threesome cannot be compared to the images presented in pornographic films. “With an extra woman it can be very nice. We see it as an addition.” Yet a threesome is still often taboo, why is that? “That is due to reactions from monogamous people or people who are not open to 'out of the box cases', she thinks. “Personally, I don't mind that.”
As long as she and her partner are on the same page, the couple enjoys their threesome experiences. “Should you have these kinds of desires? Then talk about it with your partner. Provide a good foundation in the relationship. If you start a threesome as a single person, you must be able to divide the attention. You have sex with the three of you. Discuss the boundaries and 'no go's' in advance, this will prevent disappointment and uncomfortable feelings.”
Sometimes clumsy
For a long time, 47-year-old Patricia had, as she describes it, a home-from-home sex life with her then partner. “When we broke up, I started my experimental and sexual quest. I knew little about myself, my desires and fantasies and only after I was forty did I dare to expose myself to them.”
A period of dating and trying out all kinds of new things followed. “Until I got a permanent 'bed partner' and he suggested inviting an extra woman. Before I knew it I was sharing a bed with a woman and him.” More dates like this followed and Patricia surrendered to this new world.
“When I look back on it now, I put expectations and fantasy into perspective. A threesome is known as a kind of magical phenomenon, but just like with many lovemaking sessions, it can sometimes be messy and clumsy.” Patricia is happy to have had this experience, but nowadays she appreciates sex with one partner more. “That's why I think it's good to try new things. Age plays no role in this. This way you find out what your desires are, but also what is not necessary for you.”
If you are considering having a threesome, Patricia, like the other women, recommends that you communicate honestly and openly. “With your partner and the extra person. Discuss your boundaries and needs and take them into account. Doesn't it feel good? Then you stop. And if it's messy or clumsy, you laugh about it. It won't be perfect, but the journey of discovery is great fun.”
